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Wedding planning is stressful during the best of times, and all of the craziness and uncertainty is making it much more difficult. It’s not selfish for being reluctant to change the wedding plans you’ve spent ages prepping and dreaming of. It’s ok to be disappointed and heartbroken that things might not work out how you envisioned it. This sucks.
If you’re worried that your wedding isn’t going to be able to go on as planned, here are some alternatives to consider. Every situation is unique and I can’t tell you what the right option is for you or when to make those hard decisions, but here are some ideas to think about.
Alternative options to consider
Postpone – If you have a big wedding planned and would be heartbroken not to lose that, you can try to keep your plans as close to what you have now but on a different date. Keep communication open with vendors on availability for any new dates you’re looking at, and make sure to check in with family, close friends and wedding party on their availability. Getting everything to line up once is hard enough and having to do it again can be really tough, but it’s possible.
If you are thinking about postponing, keeping in touch with your vendors is especially important so you are aware of their availability when coming up with new dates. If you are having trouble coming up with a new date where everyone is available, rank the vendors you have already booked in order of importance. The non-negotiable people and vendors who you can’t imagine your wedding without go at the top and rank the rest from there. Choose your new date based on the family, friends and vendors you most want to have at your wedding.
Don’t be afraid to look at off-season dates or Fridays or Sundays in the prime months. That might be your best bet as dates start filling up for the second half of 2020 and 2021. You can still have an awesome wedding on one of these dates.
Go to the courthouse and have a big party later in the year to celebrate (or not). Check with your local courthouse to see if they are open or what their policies are currently. Depending on your situation, you may be able to get the paperwork done ahead of time online to apply for your marriage license. If you already have your marriage license and an officiant who is willing to pronounce you husband and wife from 6 feet away, that is also a possibility to do now. If you already have your dress and still want some wedding portraits of the two of you together, you can hire a photographer to do a session with you when that’s possible.
Cancel the big wedding and switch to an intimate wedding or elopement – If you were more or less having the big wedding because it was expected of you and it was what your parents/family/friends wanted, but you preferred something less traditional, this could be a great opportunity to switch gears and plan something simpler. Keep in touch with your vendors, especially if you have already paid retainer fees/deposits and see if they can apply what you already paid towards your new plan. There are more blog posts and guides about planning intimate weddings/elopements here.
You are not alone
Everyone is very isolated right now, but you don’t have to carry this burden alone. It’s a bummer that you can’t go out for a drink with your friends to talk things over, but you can virtually get together with family and friends. Try a happy hour over video chat with your wedding party for some emotional support or call your parents or friends to vent or get input.
There are a ton of online groups as well where you can seek advice and get some support. The Bridechilla Podcast and Secret Life of Weddings Podcast are both great, free resources for planning your planning that will help keep you sane and laughing. Both have active Facebook groups where you can find other brides going through similar situations.
Please remember to show grace to others online. Just because your thoughts on this situation and plans for your wedding look different than someone else’s, be kind.
Take a break from the news and wedding planning plans
The stream of info we have at our fingertips is seriously endless. Turn off the TV, put your phone in a different room and take a freaking break. It’s important to be informed of what’s going on, but the constant barrage of bad news takes its toll.
Take a bubble bath, go for a walk with your dog, read a lighthearted fiction book. It doesn’t matter what the activity is. Just try to clear your mind and think of one thing that you’re grateful for in the moment. It doesn’t have to be deep and profound. It could be that you’re grateful you have some pizza rolls in the freezer or some wood outside for a bonfire.
And spend some time with your fiance where you’re not focused on wedding stress. Do something together to take your mind off things. Challenge each other to a cook off, binge your favorite show on Netflix, take a nap together or play a board game. Dating Divas is one of my favorite sites for date night ideas.
Comment below- are you thinking about having to change your wedding plans?
If you need someone to talk to or vent to, I’d be happy to chat. Hang in there, my friend. Better days ahead.